How To Host The Ultimate Friendsgiving & Enjoy It!
The holidays are here and, if you’re anything like me, you couldn’t be more thrilled as every day gets cooler, feels more seasonal, requires more sweaters and cozy fall fashion and pumpkins are everywhere! However, it can also feel overwhelming knowing the day you host your friends and family for Friendsgiving or Thanksgiving is just around the corner. It’s a wonderful holiday but it’s one that can make you feel anxious and stressed out, too. Hosting is a lot of work but, with the proper planning, you can throw an amazing dinner party that your guests will absolutely love and also attend it yourself.
These 10 tips will help you host the best Friendsgiving or Thanksgiving that you can actually enjoy with your favorite people!
1. Send Out Invites with Partiful
The first step to planning a seamless Friendsgiving is the invites! I recently learned about this great app called Partiful when a friend used it to invite people to her birthday dinner and I’m in love! Sending out real invites feels so grown up and classy, but it can get expensive and you’re probably going to be spending enough as it is hosting your event. Texting is easy, especially if you make a group chat, but how many times have you been added to one and felt bombarded by texts, likes, memes and more? It can be fun but it can also make you want to leave the group chat after 5 minutes. Save yourself some money and sanity with Partiful!
Using Partiful made planning my event so much easier!
People can RSVP, see who else is coming, use the chat area to say what they’re bringing—you can even set up a Group Order with Instacart in-app if you’d like items delivered such as ice, drinks, cups, and more.
If you’re buying everything and want to let guests chip in there’s a feature for that, as well.
Take a bunch of photos that night? Upload them into the event’s photo album so everyone can have them. Plus it’s FREE!
2. Decide If You Want To Cook or Do A Potluck
This is a big one! This will set the tone for how your days leading up to the party will be spent along with hosting day. Me personally, I love to cook and I absolutely hate having people in my kitchen when I’m cooking so I tell my friends to bring a dessert or drinks so they don’t have to reconsider our friendship after me yelling “get out of my kitchen” for the 8th time. I promise, I’m a nice person…except when someone is in my kitchen.
There are pros and cons to both options so weigh them and decide which is best for you. Here’s a look at some pros and cons for each.
Potluck
PROS:
~ Cost-Effective: potlucks are more inexpensive for you as the host
~ Variety of Dishes: guests can bring their own specialty dishes that they’re proud of & love. I’d suggest asking them to bring sides or a dessert and then you can cook the entree
~ Less Work for You: getting your house ready for guests can be enough work plus cooking an entree like a large turkey or chicken pot pie. Take a little stress of yourself and let guests help with the day
CONS:
~ Logistics: managing who brings what dish can sometimes lead to repeat dishes, too many desserts, not enough sides, etc
~ Less Control: if you’re someone who likes to feel in control of your hosting day and menu, then a potluck can make you feel a bit stressed
~ Food Safety: traveling with a hot dish can lead to food-borne illness risks if not properly stored or, my personal nightmare, a dish drops during a guest’s travel. Yes, it was me. I was the klutz who once dropped a cake as soon as I arrived at a friend’s door & I’ll never forget it
Cooking Dinner for Guests
PROS:
~ Showcase Your Hospitality: there’s something special about having loved ones over to your home and showing the love and care you put into a night for them
~ Control Over Your Day: You control the menu and formality. If you have guests with allergies or food preferences (vegan, vegetarian, etc.) you can be sure that there’s something there for everyone to enjoy
~ Guaranteed Leftovers: You know how much needs to be made for all your guests—including yourself—so you can be sure to make enough for you to enjoy yummy leftovers after a full day of work
CONS:
~ Logistics: Managing oven space, cooking times, keeping food warm and providing a balanced menu is a lot of work and can be stressful
~ Cost & Effort: Grocery runs nowadays certainly aren’t cheap so the cost of your day can quickly rise if you’re providing the whole dinner
~ Time-Consuming: Shopping, prepping and cooking on top of hosting and cleanup will be your whole day.
Be honest about what you’re comfortable with when deciding what style works best for you. Hosting requires a decent amount of planning and work no matter what—even for the hostess who loves to do it—so just take a breath, meditate & envision how you’d like to spend your Friendsgiving day, then decide on the hosting style that brings you the most peace. Your peace on this day is just as important as everyone else’s so don’t forget to include your happiness in planning your event!
3. Create Designated Areas
You don’t need a huge mansion with a fancy chef’s kitchen, butler’s pantry, elegant dining room and living room large enough for a Love Is Blind Reunion just to keep things organized. It helps, obviously, but you can host an amazing Friendsgiving in a smaller home with the proper planning. I have a 2 bedroom condo with a small dining space, decent outdoor patio and small yard and there will be about 20 people coming. If I can do it, you can do it. Determine what parts of your home you’d like to make available and put them to work.
Where To Display Food
Dinner Table: Would you like everyone at a dinner table and able to grab food without getting up? If so, grab the serving dishes you plan to use and map out where they fit best on your table. Set food tags in their place and take a photo to look back on so you won’t forget where you want to place them.
Buffet Style: Your kitchen is the perfect place to setup a buffet! You can set everything out on serving plates with a food warming mat if you think it will sit long enough for someone to grab seconds. Another easy option is a disposable chafing dish buffet setup complete with warmers—yay for easy cleanup! If your kitchen isn’t designed to hold a large number of dishes with people moving around easily then a fold-up table with a cover or a brown paper roll to label your dishes would certainly help keep your space neat and accessible.
Dining Room Hutch: Have a cute hutch in the corner that displays your holiday decor, liquor or specialty dishes? Move them to another area for night and utilize your hutch. This could also be the perfect place for your sweet treats.
Create a Drink Station
I have a bar cabinet but it’s in the corner of my dining room where multiple guests will be sitting. Even though it’s a great drink station most days of this year, this is not one of them. The hallway leading to my laundry room is directly next to the dining room though and I clearly don’t need to worry about accessing a washing machine during Friendsgiving so instead of letting it be a dead space, I’m utilizing it as a drink station. I found a foldable ice cooler table with an extra storage shelf for cups and bottles of wine that don’t need to be chilled. This way I can have all drinks available in an area that isn’t crowded by people dining, hanging out or grabbing a second plate from the kitchen.
Make A Dessert Bar
This is how I’ll be using my hutch for Friendsgiving. It’s in the corner of the dining room so everyone can enjoy their meals while eyeing the yummy desserts. If you have a bar cart or cabinet that you won’t be using for the party then you can make it into a dessert bar for the night. I always love the idea of using a bar cart because it reminds me of those fancy restaurants that roll out their desserts. I’ve wanted to go somewhere that does this since I was a kid watching Matilda. Another option is to flip the dinner display table over to dessert once everyone’s devoured all the delicious food.
4. Plan Your Menu & Create a Schedule
Get excited! It’s time to plan your menu. You can crowd-source amongst your guests to put together a wonderful meal or you can plan everything yourself.
How Much Food Do You Need?
Take into account how many people you will be hosting and decide how much you need to make everyone feel full and happy by the end of the night. When you’re looking up recipes that say they yield 6 servings or 8 servings, keep in mind that most people don’t always eat an entire serving size of each item. When there’s a plethora of food to choose from and your guests want to try it all, they tend to take a little less than what most recipes consider a serving size. They’re likely to grab a smaller amount to fit everything onto their plate, then come back for seconds if they can. I always make about 20-25% more than a recipe calls for when feeding a larger group like the 20 people I’m hosting, but I’d only suggest doing that if you have over 10 guests or know for certain your friends like to eat extra.
3 Appetizers: I’d suggest having at least three appetizers: something savory like cheese pastry puffs, sweet like cranberry brie bites, and something easy to pick at like a charcuterie board, cheese ball, stuffed mushrooms or pull-apart bread bowl dip.
2 Main Dishes: Have two main dishes available in case some people aren’t turkey fans. Chicken Pot Pie is always a crowd pleaser!
Sides: Let the sides steal the show! They’re what most people look forward to anyway. Keep things balanced and make sure you have a good mix.
1 Salad: Quinoa Salad, Apple Harvest Salad, Classic House Salad
2 Roasted Veggies: Balsamic Roasted Brussel Sprouts (cook them on the stalk and thank me later), Lemon Herb Roasted Asparagus & Carrots
2 Casseroles: Sweet Potato Casserole, Green Bean Casserole
1 Starch: Ranch Seasoned Mashed Potatoes, Mac & Cheese.
3 Desserts: Everyone has their favorite dessert and there’s plenty of debate between pumpkin pie or sweet potato pie. Ask your guests what they’d like by doing a poll if you’re unsure about what they want most. Even if you’ve decided to do the cooking you can ask guests to bring either a dessert or drink to have more variety. One of my best friends loves making pineapple upside down cake so that will be adding a pop of flavor to my dessert display. Cupcakes are a great way to please multiple people and offer various flavors like vanilla bean, chocolate hazelnut, red velvet, pumpkin spice—whatever fun you feel like baking.
Drinks: Be mindful about drinks. They have a way of being overlooked until they dwindle away and you’re stuck serving tap water. People tend to drink a lot more than expected when they’re having a good time. Like I mentioned before, I tell my guests they can bring a bottle of wine or beverage, which ensures there will be plenty of options available. Put together a non-alcoholic fall punch that can be easily spiked if anyone wants to add a little extra punch…see what I did there? Having non-alcoholic beverages like apple cider and sparkling water is perfect for pleasing everyone so be sure to have them available, too.
Schedules may seem daunting—especially when they’re jam packed with tasks—but it will help you get clarity on what you actually need to do in order for your party to go smoothly. Create a schedule for your whole day from morning until the start of your party. Having something in front of you to keep your day organized and on time will help minimize the guesswork and urges to feel overwhelmed. Create alarms on your phone labeled when to put a certain item into your oven, when to take it out, when to start prepping another item, etc. along with adding them into your phone’s calendar so you can easily follow along with your plans.
If you’re doing all the cooking, figure out how long everything needs to be cooked so all your food comes out hot and delicious at the perfect time. A food warming mat for your countertop can help minimize some stress around cooking times. If you don’t have enough oven space for everything or some items require different heat settings, a food warming mat will allow you to keep cooking without sacrificing the dishes that came out first. If you’re cooking all dishes in disposable tins you can use a buffet chafing station instead. Just remember food approaches the danger zone after 2 hours and can only stay on a warming station for up to 4 hours before it needs to be properly stored or discarded.
5. Prep the Day Before
Do you ever set your clothes out before going to bed? It always makes your morning feel so much smoother, doesn’t it? Think of this step as the “setting out your clothes” of the hosting world. Setting aside an hour the day before your event can help you get a lot of things prepped and ready to go for tomorrow.
Some items can even be fully prepared and set in the fridge overnight and they will taste better the next day. Some of these items include:
Deviled Eggs — peel your eggs up to 3 days in advance and prepare the filling 1-2 days ahead of time. Refrigerate in a sealed container then assemble just before you’re ready to serve
Cranberry Brie Bites — assemble them a day beforehand then bake just before guests arrive
Stuffed Mushrooms — stuff your mushrooms with all the delicious herb & cheese fillings then bake them when you’re ready
Salads — so long as you don’t add the dressing, you’re good to prep and set in the fridge
Turkey — the flavors and juices continue to meld as it cools, making it more tender and flavorful
Chicken Pot Pie — assemble everything together and let it sit overnight in the fridge. The dough will encapsulate everything even better and your ingredients will get extra time to marinate together
Stuffing — assemble the stuffing the day before and let it cool in the fridge before baking
Casseroles — assemble everything the day before (except for crunchy toppings or else they won’t be crunchy at all) then refrigerate until you’re ready to bake.
Cranberry Sauce — I always make Gordon Ramsay’s Cranberry Sauce 2 or more days in advance and store it in the fridge to cool and thicken. Since it’s cooked on the stovetop it would be pretty warm served fresh. If you like cranberry sauce like that, no judgement here, but I love a cold cranberry sauce to go with my hot meal for balance.
Gravy — the flavor deepens the longer it sits and it can easily be reheated
Dinner Rolls — trust me on this one! Homemade rolls require kneading and time to rise anyway so you’re already looking at a few hours just to get them ready to bake. Shape your rolls, place them in the pan, refrigerate covered, then remove them 3 hours before you plan to bake them. Keep them covered and let them rise at room temperature for about 1-2 hours, then bake an hour before you plan to serve.
Pies & Cheesecakes — almost every single pie is significantly better the next day and cheesecakes need to cool for hours before they’re ready to serve so the more time they have, the better. I’d recommend no more than 4 days before your event for cheesecakes and 2 days in advance for pies
6. Create An Ambiance
I’m a big fan of the “no big lights” pretty much every day of the year but when I’m hosting I put a lot of thought into the lighting of my home. I can’t stand those big overhead lights that describe their color as warm but always seem to blind you instead. I place flameless taper candles, pillar candles and tea lights all over my home that are on a timer and every single time I come home it feels so cozy! Candle lamps are also a wonderful way to light up a space and make your home smell amazing without worrying about fire safety. Portable lamps can brighten up any area you choose and give your home a polished look.
Don’t forget to put something on in the background. Youtube has a great selection of thanksgiving episodes playlists you can play just before people get there and let play through the night. This one is my personal favorite with 33 back to back thanksgiving episodes of Gilmore Girls, Friends, Gossip Girl, Smallville and more. If you don’t want to have tv episodes playing, go for a Thanksgiving Spotify Playlist.
7. Make Your Party Interactive
Whether you have a group of friends that all know each other or not, an icebreaker card game can make your party even more fun and connection driven. Encourage guests to have funny, honest and thoughtful conversations by placing icebreaker cards throughout your hosting space. I’m putting some cards out on the living room and dining room tables, along my breakfast bar, on my bookcase and in the outdoor patio so that everyone can take part, no matter where they’re mingling.
Set Out Games
Empower meaningful connections and conversations with this three level card game. Gain perspective on what impressions you give off and allow guests to challenge the ideas. Ask the questions rarely asked and get to know everyone better.
Want to hear thunderous laughs from everyone? This game is sure to do just that with punch lines written by comedians. You can either play how it says to where someone fills in the blank and everyone guesses who wrote it or you can let someone say the punch line and others verbally respond to make it extra interactive.
Allow your guests to connect and learn something new about one another to get conversations going with thought provoking questions.
Give your guests a fun task for the night with these five different cards of Friendsgiving Bingo, Trivia, Pictionary, Most Likely To… and This or That. Set these by the front door so guests can grab one as they arrive or place them on their plates if you’re putting out place settings.
I especially love the Bingo card as it will get your guests mingling more as they try to complete their card. If you want to create a prize for the winner you can, but I think a night for everyone is already a gift in and of itself.
Set Up A Photo Booth
Capturing memories from the night has never been easier since we all walk around with cameras in our pockets but setting up a Photo Booth can make things even more fun for everyone. I grabbed this 2-pack fall foil fringe that is the perfect size to cover one of my windows and then the other can be used on the laundry room door behind my drink station. You can use both next to one another like the photo below to cover 6 feet of wall space or split them up in different areas for added festivity.
8. Use Disposable Plates & Leftovers Boxes
Take a lot of cleanup work off your plate (pun intended) and use disposable dinnerware. There’s plenty of festive plates for Friendsgiving and Thanksgiving dinners so you can really take your theme up a notch. I was deeply torn between the full set I chose and these F•R•I•E•N•D•Sgiving style plates. I honestly don’t know how many times I’ve rewatched the show so I was deeply tempted to include it into my party. Opting for disposable plates rather than porcelain or stoneware you already have saves you hours of cleanup time and keeps you from worrying about anything being accidentally broken. You don’t have to trade elegance for convenience by using plastic or paper plates. There are so many beautiful options nowadays for dinnerware and take home containers. Provide your guests with to-go containers and you won’t have to hunt anyone down to get your Tupperware back.
9. Get Yourself & Your Home Ready Early
Since you prepped a day or two in advance, you’ve freed up a lot of time on your hosting day, allowing you to get yourself ready without running around like a crazy person. Wake up and take a calming 15-minute walk. Enjoy a refreshing shower. Fix your hair how you want—especially if you’re going for a big blowout or waves so you can start getting your home ready while wearing hair rollers. Multitasking will make your day so much easier!
Set out the clothes you want to wear during the party and then do all your cooking and cleaning in comfy clothes like leggings and a tank top. Follow your cooking schedule if you’re doing everything or prep the food display area for potluck items that will be arriving. If it’s going to be cold where you live, make sure you’ve thought about how to keep outdoor areas comfortable. I’m using a stand heater for my covered patio and a table heater for the outdoor dining table in the yard.
10. Allow Yourself to Enjoy the Party!
Sometimes the biggest thing keeping you from enjoying the party is your mindset. I know it’s hard when you want to make sure everyone is having fun but your friends and family are there to enjoy a great night WITH you. You weren’t hired to cater an event for them so don’t turn yourself into the waitstaff. Grab a drink, dig into all the delicious meals and go with the flow of the night. You’ve done all the prep work and you’re set up for success. Have fun making memories with your guests and enjoy the holidays!
