Your Body Is Already Summer Ready — Here’s How to Believe It
Summer time is finally here! The weather is getting warmer. The birds are chirping. The trees are full and blowing in that nostalgia-inducing summer breeze. You’re ready to hit the beach, work on your tan by the pool, but then you look at your bikini drawer and feel that heavy, heart-pounding anxiety.
Why do you feel this way? You were literally just bouncing with joy like 10 seconds ago. But that was before you were going to put on something more revealing. People are going to see your stomach that may not be flat and toned. Your legs have a texture that’s okay but also kinda resembles cottage cheese. You suddenly don’t want to wave at anyone in case your arm fat decides to wave, too. Before you know it, you’re Lisa from White Chicks and every inch of your body is out to get you.
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “winter choices build summer bodies”. You’re supposed to be dieting and living in the gym to be hot by spring break. I love nothing more than pumpkin spice & Christmas season and I refuse to give that up or feel guilty for enjoying them just because my body doesn’t fit the “hot girl summer” mold.
I’m not faking my confidence anymore. I’m giving myself grace and tricking my mind out of that mean place where it finds all the negative things to tell me so I can actually enjoy the summer season. I know, it’s easier said than done but I’m going to teach you how to feel beautiful and confident this year — and no, we’re not detoxing or changing your body; we’re changing your mind. Let’s get started!
How To Get Your Mind Summer Ready
Practice Makes Perfect
You may not realize it but you’ve been practicing how you mentally treat your body — whether the words have been empowering, debilitating or nonexistent.
You tell yourself things like:
“you wouldn’t have to hide your body if it only looked better.”
“you wouldn’t have to try to appear confident if you were simply fit enough.”
These are common thoughts we feed off of…even the girls who look like supermodels. We can be our own worst critic but we can also choose to be our biggest cheerleader.
I’d like to tell you that it’s as simple as standing in the mirror and telling yourself that you’re beautiful but it’s a little more than that. You’re on the right track though and you should always be that kind to yourself.
You haven’t worn shorts, bikinis and tank tops for a while so you’re not used to seeing yourself wearing them and showing the parts of you that you prefer to hide. You’re just out of practice, so to speak.
Confidence takes practice. Thankfully, it’s an easy habit to become a pro at. Take small steps and work your way up to full confidence. Ripping the band-aid off can be a good tactic unless you’re not mostly healed and that’s when all the bad stuff starts getting in. Before you know it, you’re back to square one.
“Throwing on a bikini and just showing up to the beach or pool with forced confidence may sound like the right move, but I’d rather you gain confidence for real and simply let it shine. ”
Start by wearing a bikini in your home and getting comfortable with how it feels. Same goes for the shorts and tank top you’re dying to wear out. When you pass a mirror, take the time to see yourself and find something you love. Something you can feel good about. It could be as simple as liking your belly button, the shape of your body, how your cleavage looks, anything. Finding one thing that you love about yourself has a domino effect. Before you know it you’ll walk out the door feeling good about yourself. If someone’s looking at you, you won’t even notice. When you hear whispers, you won’t think they're about you anymore.
Stepping outside your house might still be scary even after you’ve practiced but think of all the things that you’ve been nervous about that ended up amazing. How about the time you got ready for a date and tried on 10 different outfits, put together flash cards of topics to discuss, then ended up having a great night out? You got comfortable. You let loose. You stopped worrying and just enjoyed yourself.
Dress For Your Body
Feeling good in a bikini and summer attire is much easier if you’re wearing pieces that are the right size and designed to flatter your shape. I’m guilty of wishing I didn’t have to buy a large bathing suit bottom or holding onto my jeans from high school praying I’ll be a size 4 again but the truth is, I’m probably never going to fit them again. And that’s okay!
Photo by true north.lens
You look so much better when you’re wearing something that fits you properly. No one can see the tag and know which size you’re actually wearing…plus they’re not thinking about that when you look your best.
I’m not saying you should cover up everything you don’t feel the most confident about but different styles look better on different body types.
Determine your body type and understand your proportions then select styles that enhance or balance your features.
Hourglass: well-defined waist, balanced bust and hips
Fitted or wrap dresses
High-waisted bottoms
Rompers
Triangle bikini top
Pear: wider hips than shoulders, defined waist
A-line skirts & dresses
High-waisted bathing suit bottoms or swim skirts
Straight leg pants
Apple: Fuller midsection, maybe broader shoulders and bust
V-necklines
Flared pants
Tops that elongate your waist
Bodysuits
Rectangle: similar width in shoulders, waist and hips
A-line skirts
Prints & Textures
Bright colors on top & dark on the bottom also help give your body shape more dimensions. If you have a larger bust, then reverse it and do light on top with darker on the bottom
Crop Tops that pull in at the middle of your waist
Reject Conventional Beauty Standards
I know this one sounds like a crazy ask but it’s one of the best ways to start feeling better about yourself and your body. I tried for years to conform with society to look and talk the way I was “supposed to” and you know what I found? Nothing but frustration, low self-esteem and an unattainable goal that I constantly ran after. What would be even more irritating is when I would get a little closer to reaching that goal and then suddenly, the standards changed again.
By the time I felt irritated enough to give up trying, I’d lost a majority of who I really was and what I actually liked. It’s like I got turned into a robot. We have enough AI in this world. Don’t join them on auto mode. We’re all unique and beautiful in our own way.
Find what you love about yourself and let that shine through. You’ll be amazed how much people look at you with admiration versus judgment when they see you being confident with who you really are. And those who do judge, well you won’t care about what they think, will you?
This is one of those times where journaling will be your best friend. If you’re struggling to believe the positive things you’re telling yourself it may help to write things down. There’s something about taking pen to paper that makes things feel more real and believable. Here’s some prompts to help you understand why you’re feeling insecure about your body and how to defy the cultural standards. I found some great prompts that truly helped me and I hope they do the same for you. Grab a pen and let’s reset that brain chemistry!
Why do I feel like a summer body is so important?
Who told me that I need to have a summer body? Who are they to me?
How has the idea of “summer bodies” impacted my life?
Has this idea served me?
Does this idea align with my values?
Answer these questions, brain dump everything you can and then begin writing your own story. What are your values? How do you want to see yourself and why do you feel like you can’t visualize yourself beautifully as you are? How can you bring light and joy to your life through loving yourself? Let’s stop harming ourselves and our overall health just to fit the narrative of someone we’ve never met who never thinks of us and doesn’t even know our name or how much value we truly have.
“You could be the sweetest, juiciest peach in the world but there’s always going to be someone out there who doesn’t like peaches.”
Be Kind To Yourself
Suppose your friend came to you and said she didn’t want to join you for a day by the pool because she didn’t look good in a bathing suit…what would you say to her? How would you assure her that she’s beautiful and you don’t care about her body, you just care about her and want to spend time together?
As kids, we used to play on the beach building sand castles that looked horrendous but did that stop us from making them? We didn’t even know they weren’t fit for a sand king. We just knew that we were having fun. How about pool days spent flipping your hair back like you were George Washington? You weren’t looking over your shoulder to see who was judging you. You simply had fun with your friends splashing around in the sun.
How would you speak to your friend to make her forget all the negative thoughts about herself so she can feel excited about throwing on a bathing suit? Start speaking to yourself with the same kindness. You need to hear positive things about yourself just as much as anybody else, but often times, we don’t give people the chance to say them to us. We appear strong and put on a brave face when we’re actually criticizing every detail about ourselves. You say all the negative things to yourself when you’re alone, so start changing the self-talk. Don’t worry about the fact that you’re having conversations with yourself. We’re discarding all judgement and loving on ourselves because we deserve it. YOU DESERVE TO BE SHOWN LOVE!
Photo by Julia Kuzenkov | Pexels
Gain Perspective
You’re just one person and the way your body looks is not the most important thing in the entire world. I know it can feel that way sometimes, but that’s when we’re only looking at life as it applies to us and allowing our anxiety to take the wheel.
When I need to gain perspective and stop feeling so stressed out, I imagine someone on a plane or even in space looking down at everyone…watching us go through life and never once thinking about what our bodies look like. You can see cars driving and know that there’s someone down there simply going through their life, same as you. Feeling insecure about how you look becomes so trivial when you take a step back and see yourself as just a small part of this world. I’m not trying to tell you that you don’t matter or your life isn’t important, because you most certainly do. There’s 8 billion of us living on this planet, feeling and doing similar things. Pulling yourself out of your bubble can help clear your mind and make you realize that some of the things we worry about really aren’t all that serious.
Reach Out for Support
When is it time to speak with your therapist about how you’re feeling? Sometimes, we need a little extra help and someone to talk to who can be a completely objective listener to give us advice.
Sorry, I couldn’t help myself. Next to Mean Girls, I can’t stop quoting She’s The Man. But in all seriousness, speaking with a therapist about why you’re so hard on yourself and hiding yourself away for the comfort of others can truly help you overcome your fears of being seen in a bikini or that hot new summer outfit you have in your cart but won’t buy because you don’t think you can go out in public wearing it. If your stress is affecting your eating habits then you should definitely consider speaking with a professional.
The goal is not to give in to the “nothing tastes better than skinny feels” crap so that you can look good for others. Love you Kate Moss but, girl have you never had pizza? It most certainly tastes better than skinny feels! There’s a therapist that specializes in just about every issue you could have.
If you’ve never spoken with a therapist before, don’t be scared. It can feel intimidating to sit down with a stranger to discuss your deepest, darkest secrets and vulnerabilities but the only goal they have is to help you feel your best and love your life. Check out BetterHelp and you can be matched with a therapist online for a much more affordable price than an in-person counseling session.
I’m not interested in spending my summer hiding away from people or only visiting the pool when it’s empty. I want to wear the shorts. Bathe in the sun. Regain my childhood excitement for the summer months. Feel beautiful in my own skin and actually complete my summer bucket list. Let’s change the narrative we think was written for us and make our lives look and feel the way we want it to. I’ve got this and so do you! Let’s take back summer together!
Thanks & Let’s Do Better Together!
Kait